don't fake it til you make it
(Originally posted April 30th 2020)
The local girls advice page has once again struck another cord in my feminist body and I am ANGRY.
Last night a poll was posted asking if any of us girls have faked an orgasm before. Fortunately, not faking it won by 100 votes, while sadly, 379 girls had agreed to faking it. Now if there's one thing I hate more than when the club I visit on a Friday night don't upload the photos they took of me onto Facebook, it's the fake orgasm, and let me tell you why.
1. No one wins. You don't cum and he gets an inflated ego. Those are two things I can definitely live with out. Sex is meant to be enjoyable for all parties involved. Who has time to go into sex thinking "okay I'll let him cum and that will be the end of it" like I cannot fathom how backwards it is?? So many comments on this post were "I just let him finish so I can go to sleep" or "I just pretend to enjoy it so he can hurry up and finish". This further provokes the narrative that sex is only deemed completed once the man orgasms. What kind of horrible sex is that???? Us women deserve our nut!! If not, we are at least deserving of the simple pleasures of sex!!!! Sex is no longer just a means of procreation where a man is intended to plant his seed. It is about exploration, pleasure, and enjoyment. It is about equality of the sexes. Also, who’s that good at acting to achieve a perfect recreation of the female orgasm?
2. You're setting the rest of us up for failure. Men are going to think that three pumps of their mediocre peen is gonna lead us to a convulsing orgasm when in reality they still don't know where the clit is, the epicentre of the female orgasm. "I don't want to hurt his feelings" - DO NOT TRADE SHORT-TERM DISCOMFORT FOR LONG-TERM DYSFUNCTION. I'm pretty sure a man can handle being told "hey maybe if you did it like this instead?" and if they can't handle that simple critique then I have a great contact for a full-man disposal company. Imagine this: a guy has slept with 6 girls who have all faked orgasms after 10 seconds of straight missionary. He thinks to himself "bitches love missionary". He goes onto his 7th endeavour with a game plan: "alright 5 minutes of vigorous dry fingering and scratching her labia then 10 seconds of missionary, she doesn't know what she's in for". So him and the 7th girl get down and dirty and she decides to speak up and say "hey maybe we can try another position? Do you have any lube?" and the man looks as if she has just threatened to kill his entire family. "Different position??? What do you mean??? The Missionary3000 always works a charm??". The man is shocked to discover that a woman actually has autonomy in how she achieves climax and can actually verbally demonstrate what she desires. I am that 7th girl. I have experienced a metric fuck tonne of disappointing sex and I just think to myself "this man has watched too much porn and has never actually sought out constructive feedback". That being said, I have never once faked an orgasm. Sure I have acted as if I'm enjoying it but I would never go to those gross lengths to boost a man's ego. To contradict what I said in the last paragraph, I have come to realise that sex can be enjoyable without an orgasm. Throwback three years ago and if someone told me that I would think they are absolutely insane. But I have had some amazing woohoo where even neither of us have finished. The day you start focusing on the journey rather than the destination, the more sexually liberated you become, and hopefully the need to fake an orgasm will lessen.
3. It's simply anti-feminist. Faking orgasms is setting the feminist movement back three million years. Women have worked so hard to achieve sexual empowerment and we are learning to reclaim our sexual identities and our own bodies. As previously mentioned, sex is no longer just an act of popping out babies. It is fun. It is empowering. We should be getting the most out of it! We LiVe In A sOcIeTy which literally forces women to hate their bodies. We are bombarded with the nightmares of consumerism and targeted marketing telling us that we aren’t good enough and won’t be until we give in to some capitalist bullshit. Sex gives us the opportunity to actually explore our bodies free from the shackles of capitalism. The media already tell us we aren’t good enough, why should we let a man we’re engaging in intercourse with further dictate how we’re going to feel? You’re a woman, not a flashlight. If you feel uncomfortable telling a guy that you’re not enjoying yourself, you really have to ask yourself why do I feel uncomfortable expressing what I want within such an intimate and personal act? And maybe address the types of men you’ve been sleeping with; something that I have had to confront with my psyche many times.
In summation; why fake an orgasm? So you don't upset a boy's feelings? BORING.