Things I learnt from moving out
I just moved out properly for the first time (San Francisco doesn't count) and basically I'm a lot more stupid than I thought. Here are just a few things I have learnt in the first month of being out of home. Disclaimer: I am dumb.
Curtains help keep the cold out and the heat in
Look, I haven't studied science since year 10, I don't know the laws of thermodynamics. The first few nights in my new place I found myself to be extremely cold. I would be wearing three layers to bed, somewhat resembling Marge wearing that trench coat to the candy convention, and sleep with an additional blanket under my doona. Was I just so accustomed to the privilege of central heating? Probably. I put forward my issues to my mum and she told me to close my curtains at night. Close them? Why? I like the view of the neighbouring buildings lights turned on? Well turns out closing your curtains keeps the heat in because your windows go cold throughout the night. Who would’ve thought? Not me.
If your apartment number is 78, you're probably on the 7th floor
I don't know how or why it took me so long to realise that the number of your apartment most likely represents the level of the building that you are on. How have I gone 23 years of my life not knowing this? I always thought it was just a coincidence that apartment 103 was on level 10, and apartment 235 was on level 23. What a time to be alive.
Bath sheets exist
Don't know what a bath sheet is? Good Because I didn't know what they were up until a month ago. Turns out you can get regular bath towels... just in a bigger size? I didn't know there was a specific name for this. Anywhomst I bought one just before moving out and it's basically a blanket but in towel form. Who thought of such an innovation?? Here I am using the towels from when I was 11 year olds that barely cover my behind. 23 year old Gabby and her bath sheet are living her BEST life.
Pasta requires pasta sauce, bread requires butter, coffee requires milk
I'm no cook, and moving out has really tested the minimal limits of my cooking expertise. Moving out with nothing means you have to go back to basics, and when I say basics I mean BASICS. It's not enough to just buy bread and pasta. What are you going to eat your pasta with? What condiments do you have? Are you going to season your chicken? I asked my friends what they usually cook for dinner and the said “whatever’s in your pantry/fridge” BUT I DONT HAVE ANYTHING IN MY PANTRY OR FRIDGE?? Please tell me it isn't just me who forgot that cooking requires more than just the staple food?? Please???? Anyway if anyone needs to donate to my cause I am still in need of olive oil and salt and pepper, thank you xx
UPDATE 12/7/20: My pantry is FILLED with condiments. Garlic salt, lemon pepper, taco seasoning, MULTIPLE pasta sauces, oregano, balsamic vinegar, masterchef WATCH OUT.
Your mum won't pick you up from work anymore
You're telling me I have to now make my own way to and from work??? That my mum won't pick me up from Bridie's house anymore? (Not that I can visit her anyway). Moving out means losing all access to my mum and dad's chauffeur abilities, the audacity right?? Furthermore, since I'm no longer a student I can no longer use a concession myki meaning I'm forking out almost $50 a week to tram 15 minutes to and from work? (And I definitely do not EVER fare evade what are you talking about??) The good thing is I am literally outside a tram stop that goes every direction possible, and I only need to wake up 45 minutes before work instead of a full hour and a half. This is the sweet life.
Electric blankets are god's gift
Move over Yung Lean because my electric blanket is the LOVE of my life. Remember when I complained about my room being too cold? Well Mama Apter pulled through and brought me an electric blanket and you kNOW I be running that shit all night, but then I remember I actually have to pay electricity bills now and I think hmmm should probably turn it off.
No one's going to clean up after you
Have I already been @'d in the group chat multiple times for not cleaning up my shit? Yes. Is it completely reasonable? Absolutely. When I lost my parents as uber drivers, I also lost them as my own personal assistant. "Gabby what the fuck you're 23? You're telling me you've never cleaned your own dishes and done your own washing?" I mean....yeah? But hey, I'm here now and I'm slowly adapting. I'm starting to get into a routine and also continuously reminding myself that my housemates aren't my babysitters and if I can hold myself accountable for problematic things I have said in the past, I can hold myself accountable for my dirty dishes.
Anyway, I'm only a month in and I'm kind of offended because I thought my room would turn into a brothel and it would be a party 24/7 but now we're in lockdown for the next 6 weeks so I can't wait to see how the connection between myself and apartment 83 becomes stronger xx