People of Defqon.1

I am so sorry I have accidentally written a fucking thesis of a blog post. I met so many beautiful people at Defqon and they all deserve a mention so I apologise for the essay. I unfortunately didn’t get photos with anyone I met which I’m so upset about but I swear these are all real people and not fictitious characters I formed out of a psychedelic experience!! 

Wednesday

Coco’s 

It is tradition for Australians to head to Coco’s Outback in Amsterdam the night before Defqon to meet, mingle, and make friends before the weekend. I had booked Defqon through an Australian third-party touring company, where all attendees were able to join a WhatsApp group chat. When I got to Coco’s I said hi to a few familiar faces I had seen in the chat, then headed inside for a drink. 

After being fucked around the bar for 10 minutes, I decided to pay it forward and buy the guy next to me a drink. We started talking. He was from Sydney and also going to Defqon with his brother and a few other mates. I wasn’t planning on having a big night so I got his Instagram, stayed around for a couple more minutes to mingle, then scooted home. 

I left Coco’s that night with a massive smile on my face, ready than ever to take on the upcoming four days of madness. 

Thursday

The Bus 

The tour group gathered outside Amsterdam Central to wait for the bus transfer taking us to Defqon. I said hi to those I recognised from Coco’s, and got onto the bus praying that the person who sits next to me isn’t a fuckwit. In a fortunate turn of events, I actually ended up meeting some of the best people on that two hour bus ride. 

A lovely couple from Sydney were sitting in front of me, and I actually ended up meeting up with them in Paris a week later! The girl was so sweet and bubbly and the guy was ready to have a conversation about anything and everything. Next to me on the bus was another girl from Sydney, who was also probably one of the sweetest and friendliest people I met at Defqon. She was staying a couple of cabins down from me, so we frequently saw each other and would stop for a chat. On the bus I also met a guy from the Gold Coast, who ended up adopting me into his group that weekend, but more on that later. 

It ended up pissing down with rain that night, and in order for me to survive the next three days, I decided to be in bed by 9pm, playing candy crush and eavesdropping on the people in the cabin behind me (pretty sure I heard someone say they slept with their therapist???). 

Friday

I was most excited for Friday because that was the day Poggi came to visit! 

Sefa 

Friday afternoon we took a hammock break where I started talking to this German guy, couldn't tell ya what his name was. This is what I loved about Defqon. You could strike up a conversation with any old geezer and they’d happily keep the conversation going, even if their English wasn’t the best. The perfect example of this was during Sefa’s exclusive gig at the Defqon theatre. Poggi and I were sitting at a table with this Dutch couple, and the girl was clearly a massive Sefa fan who shed a few tears throughout the emotional and intimate performance. Before I left for Defqon I made some Kandi, one specifically with “SEFA” beaded on it because I know his fans are some of the most dedicated and I wanted to pass it onto someone at the show. I decided I wanted to give this Dutch girl the bracelet. After giving her the “PLUR” spiel, I transferred the bracelet over to her and she embraced me in a hug. We held hands in the air and danced for the remainder of the set. She was genuinely such a wonderful human and was so thankful for the bracelet. After the show we headed to the bar before saying goodbye. The interaction left me full of joy, and reminded me that acts of kindness like trading kandi are important in building a kind and respectful community. 

Later in the day, this guy from Iceland struck up a conversation with me while in line for the bar. I have no idea what we spoke about, but as soon as he offered me his fan to keep (what a privilege!!) and asked if Poggi was my boyfriend, I knew he was keen. He was nice enough, so we exchanged Instagrams. 

Afterparty

I met up with the Icelandic dude later that night as we both wanted to go to one of the after parties, and mans was NOT giving the same energy as earlier in the day. We walked in silence for what felt like 20 minutes. We had some small talk, he went and bought a vape, and despite speaking a total of 3 words, he offered me half a pill. While I graciously accepted, I started thinking of ways I could escape. We passed a silent disco on the way to the after party and I suggested we go in, purely for the fact that if we had headphones on, we wouldn’t have to talk to each other. Not even a SONG in, the Icelandic guy turns to me and says “I’m gonna head to the other party” I reluctantly asked if he wanted me to go with him or if he was okay to go by himself and he said “I’m good”. Part of me was offended; how dare you not want to spend time with me?! But also it meant I didn’t have to make an awkward run for it, and I was now free to enjoy the rest of my night without the presence of an awkward man. Poggi later told me he had given off weird vibes, WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THIS EARLIER POGGI???

I wasn’t ready to end the night, so I decided to meet up with the guy I met at Coco’s Wednesday night. My god did it feel good to be with someone I could have an actual conversation with. We headed to the Gearbox afterparty where he grabbed my hand as we walked our way through the crowd. We danced and drank before the party was sadly cut earlier than expected. The night was still young (1am), and I wasn’t prepared to sleep just yet. We ended up talking and smoking by the hammocks (I literally can’t get over how much I utilised the hammocks over the weekend oh my god they were a god send I fucking love hammocks). It started to get cold so we wandered over to one of the firepits. As we sat down, he put his arm around my waist. 

I literally haven’t touched a man in 10 months so I was like what the fuck do I do?? All the flirtatious signs were there and I was living for every moment of it but I was sitting there like a fucking statue. Around 3am, he walked me back to the campsite (how romantic) and we said goodbye. I sadly didn’t see him again that weekend.

A few of my friends have asked me “Did you fuck in Europe?” and were often disappointed to hear that I didn’t. To be honest it wasn’t really a priority of mine. I was more focused on meeting people and making connections and if something were to happen from that then sure why not. But I didn’t want to put pressure on anything, especially since I’ve set a boundary for myself that I want to be sober the next time I have sex, and there was very little of that at Defqon. 

Saturday 

Speed Dating

Saturday morning it was time to wake up with a fun round of speed dating. 

I swear literally only the most BORING people attend speed dating. The host would ask questions like “what's your biggest rave confession” and my matches would just reply with “idk” LIKE BRO THINK OF SOMETHING?? LIE?? BE CREATIVE?? Didn’t meet anyone. NEXT! 

Assholes

I hate to bring a downer to the blog, but there is something I sadly must discuss. I unfortunately had a bad run-in with a few Australians Saturday afternoon. Someone in the group chat asked for a *substance* and this girl said she had some and was offering. I politely asked if lil ol’ me could scab some, to which she said yes. She told me to come to the yellow stage so I walked over. When I got there I noticed a few Aussies, but because I hadn’t put a face to a name yet I couldn’t tell if she was amongst the group. I messaged the chat “hey where are you?” to which multiple people replied “she went to blue”. Even she said “yeah sorry I went to blue”. I was looking at the messages and the Aussies standing nearby, and realised they were the ones messaging, and the girl who was offering was in fact at yellow and not at blue. When I asked if anyone had anything, I was met with a “no, sorry”. I put two and two together and realised that I probably wasn’t going to receive any goods, and this was all just a ploy to drag me from one spot to another, and act oblivious in a way that is clearly made to humiliate someone. 

I already had my reservations about these people. In the group chat when someone would ask a valid question (eg: if the tap water is safe to drink) they would reply with “No idea, hope this helps” which was funny for about a total of three seconds. It’s not funny when it’s day four of Defqon and it’s almost as if you’ve spent your entire weekend glued to this WhatsApp chat rather than enjoying the festival. It's disheartening when seeking assistance or clarity turns into an unpleasant interaction due to the lack of empathy and willingness to help from your peers.

The worst interaction I had happened shortly after. I returned to my cabin around 6pm feeling deflated. I was exhausted, anxious, and feeling lonely. As a solo traveller, you have to make an active effort to socialise. Despite the previous interaction leaving a bad taste in my mouth, I messaged the group chat “Does anyone want to come see Rooler’s set with me?”. BRO IT IS NOT HUMANLY POSSIBLE TO EXPRESS IN WRITTEN FORM THE ANGER I FELT WHEN I RECEIVED THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE BY THE GIRL FROM THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH:

GEEEETTTT FUUUUUUUUCKEEEEED!!!!!!!

For context, the term “casual/s” is used in Australia to describe someone who is a casual listener of hardstyle, but it carries a more negative connotation. It has the implication that these people are just bandwagoners and listen to what is popular rather than immersing themselves in the culture of hardstyle. 

First of all: literally what the fuck is it to you who I listen to?? I went out on a limb to socialise and make friends and your first instinct is to belittle me and make me feel inferior for liking a popular artist??? Even if I was a “casual”, at least I have a positive attitude and came to Defqon to spread that positivity, unlike you who seems to be more interested in spreading a false sense of entitlement. SECONDLY we literally paid the same price to be here? Why would I pay 3k for something I “casually” listen to? I said to her “well slap my ass and call me a casual”. She replied “you’re a fucking casual and that’s why you’re not getting *insert drug*”. Bro I cannot make this shit up. This confirmed my suspicions from earlier. They used me as bait for their immature prank. 

Despite the vibrant and inclusive atmosphere that permeates Defqon, it was really upsetting to witness these people displaying such a horrible attitude that blatantly contradicts the values of the festival. Defqon is all about embracing the spirit of “One Tribe”, and these Aussies did anything but. Like seriously? Are you not embarrassed? I strive to be the person I want to see in the Australian hardstyle scene. I’m kind. I’m bubbly. I’m respectful. These people are everything that is wrong with the hardstyle community back home. 

There was, however, a happy ending to this story. I had a cry, smoked a joint, put my makeup on, and reminded myself I’m at fucking Defqon in the fucking Netherlands and I’m not gonna let Anna from Sydney ruin my fucking weekend. 

A Fortunate Turn

I met up with the Gold Coast guy from the bus and his sister, and they introduced me to his friends. They were all keen to go see Rooler, so we started heading over. I could already tell this was a set of great people. I mentioned I was going to go fill up my water bottle and I could meet up with them later, but they offered to wait for me before heading in. As a solo traveller, small gestures like this go a long way. These people were quite possibly the most nice and accepting people I could’ve met after such an ordeal. We sweated up a fucking storm and they even invited me back to kick ons that night. I had gone from feeling completely isolated amongst assholes, to feeling accepted by a genuine group of people who had the same gratitude for hardstyle as me.

Later that evening, I went and sat on the grass outside of the black stage while I waited for Dimitri K to start. A group of guys sat down nearby and from the corner of my eye I spotted them smoking a joint. I turned around and a guy had an absolute FATTY in between his fingers. “That’s a fat joint” I said to him. He told me he rolled it himself. Thinking that that might have been the end of our interaction, he turned to me a couple seconds later and asked if I would like some. Babe, is water wet? Is the Pope catholic? Of course I would like some! We started chatting and he introduced me to his friends; a group of very attractive Dutch guys. While I loved talking to this attractive man, I wanted to go and burst my eardrums at Dimitri K. He asked for my Instagram, I internally screamed, and went and had a fat boogie. Shortly after he messaged me; “Do you wanna meet up for a joint later?” WHAT AM I GONNA DO?? SAY NO??? 

Once the daily festivities were over, I of course went to go meet him. We smoked, shared music, trauma dumped, sat by the fire, lay in the grass, and were out until 3am. We said goodnight, and decided we were going to meet up the next morning for Jur Terreur. 

The night didn’t end there. After grabbing a jumper from my cabin, I went over to the kick ons I had been invited to. I told everyone the trauma I had gone through that day and was met with love and support. We smoked some more and were up until the early hours of the morning.

Despite having to deal with dickheads and anxiety earlier in the day, Saturday turned out to be one of the best days of the weekend. I slept well that night.

Sunday

Morning

As discussed, I met up with the Dutch guy at 11am Sunday morning. I even brought him a sandwich that I didn’t eat from my breakfast box that morning. Am I cute or what? After a couple of sets I met up with his friends I had met the night before. I don’t know how but I ended up alone with one of them. He was super funny and friendly and we spent ages wandering around the festival and camp grounds trying to find somewhere to sit that had even just a smidge of shade. We finally settled on a crate. These were spread around the campsite and you could either sit on top or inside of one. Throughout the weekend I often thought how awesome it would be to come here at night with a few blankets and snacks and turn it into a fort of some kind. That sadly never happened. It was nice to rest though. The original Dutch guy messaged me a few times to meet up again, but after spending 5 hours in 32º sun, I just had to be alone, so I went back to my cabin to prepare for the last hours of Defqon. 

Sunday arvo I also got to have a boogie with Holli Curtis! For lack of a better term, she is a bit of an influencer in the Australian hardstyle scene. She’s hot and can chuck a FAT hakk. We were meant to meet up to do a photoshoot but sadly couldn’t find the time. She is literally SUCH a sweetheart and I need to know how her makeup stays so perfect.

Night

It got to 10pm Sunday night and I realised I hadn’t returned the pair of Defqon shorts that were a size too small. I had all weekend to return them at the merchandise stand but alas, I had been preoccupied. I posted in the chat “trading a pair of shorts for 10 euro or a joint”. Half an hour later I heard a knock at the door. It was my neighbour and she was offering me a joint. I asked if she would like my shorts and she declined, she simply wanted to give me the joint because she heard I had needed it. What a sweetheart! 

I had a much needed shower and changed into my comfies. The sanctuary campground was bustling with people coming back from the closing ceremony. I stumbled into a beanbag with a joint and began to unwind. After an hour of playing candy crush, I heard a laugh from a distance. I turned around and it was the couple I had met on the bus! I walked over and they were sitting with another couple who turned out to also be from Melbourne! I was so excited to join them because although I was having a great time unwinding by myself on the beanbag, I still had some social battery leftover. Shortly after, another guy joined us, who I later found out was a Russian Jew! Just my luck to meet a fellow Russian Jew who owns a house and likes hardstyle only once the festival is over.

The vibes in the sanctuary campground at 4am were immaculate. The sky looked beautiful, it wasn’t too chilly, people were still out and about. We all wanted to soak up the remainder of the weekend as much as we could before it was time to leave. Once again, I was up until long after the sun. 

Home

Whether we shared vulnerable stories, a joint under the moonlight, held hands, or simply exchanged smiles; the people I met at Defqon are people I will never forget. When a stranger asked who I was here with and I told him I was alone, he said “you’re never alone when you’re at Defqon”.

This quote hit hard, and a month later I still think about it. I’m so excited about all the new friends I have made! I have a whole bunch of people to catch up with at Knockout in Sydney this September, and a bunch of those people are also heading to Defqon again next year! I truly found a place to call home at Defqon this year.